Monday, April 18, 2011

The Beginning

Writing is the most powerful way I know of to sort through all the inner voices. ~ Rebecca Maddox

As a teen, I did what most teens did by keeping a small diary of my days at school, my crushes and frustrations with school mates, but it wasn't until my second marriage that I started journaling again...because I felt so lost, so miserable inside, and needed a place where I could find some small piece of sanity.  A place where I felt at peace.


For the duration of that marriage, some 11 years, I filled literally dozens upon dozens of spiral single, three and five subject notebooks, and as each one was finished, I placed them on my book shelf.  I had no fear of being spied upon by my husband or step-children because they had no interest in what I was writing. 


I had learned a tip from reading about journal-keeping: what's obvious isn't interesting to others.  Hide a diary, then others will want to know what it is you are writing about. 


I had a lot to write about...the death of my mother, being molested at age nine, being raped while pregnant with my oldest child, my first marriage being a living trip through Hell, my current marriage being highly stressful between my older husband and three step-children (the oldest being just eleven years younger than me).

My writing daily in those journals, worked to help me make it through those things that haunted me, and I really believed I was making peace with my past losses, pain, loneliness, feelings of self-doubt, lack of self-esteem and self-consciousness.  I was growing, becoming stronger emotionally and mentally.

After that marriage ended and a new one had commenced, I quit writing in journals and focused on my passion of writing...poetry, short stories, and I even had a newsletter that I wrote at the time, called "Circle of Friends", that was written, submissions put together, it all printed and mailed to around some 25-35 people that I made friends with (and friends of friends) from being pen pals.

But, as life has it, some things end or get put on a back burner because daily living consumed my time...and thoughts.  (Not to mention two teenagers and another divorce!)

My passion, writing, has never left me, but has lingered throughout my life...but now seems to have an urgency that tells me it's time to focus on it, because it's there...stories begging to be wrote, life's trials and travels need to become black and white.  Characters and story plots churn in my head...and soon...soon...it'll be time for me to become (my old CB handle) the "Dream Weaver"!

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day!

D.

2 comments:

  1. I had no idea how much you have suffered.
    brave soul!
    keep writing,
    best,
    MDee

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