Monday, October 29, 2012

Newspaper Headlines (Humor)




In light of Hurricane Sandy's impending landfall...I thought I'd steal a moment and and lighten the mood with these headline gaffes!

Enjoy!




* Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

* British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

* Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

* Eye Drops off Shelf

* Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

* Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

* Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

* Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

* Stolen Painting Found by Tree

* Checkout Counter Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

* Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One

* Drunken Drivers Paid $1000

* If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

* Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

* Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

* Deer Kill 17,000

* Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

* Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

* New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

* Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

* Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

* Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

* British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

* Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

* Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

* New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

* Air Head Fired

* Steals Clock, Faces Time

* Prosecutor Releases Probe into Under-sheriff

* Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

* Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

* Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

* Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction

* Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training

* Include your Children when Baking Cookies

* Marv Albert Gets Pink Slip

* Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

* Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

* Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

* Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing


                               

Friday, October 19, 2012

My apologies

Moon...10/19/12  6:05 p.m. EST


I want to offer my sincere apologizes to my followers for not having wrote anything substantial in a while. My mind has been all over the place for weeks on end, and I have really had a hard time focusing on any one thing for long.

And I don't know why...but I have a feeling that it is another facet of my depression. 

As well, it has been a busy Summer and early Fall for me. I had all my teeth removed back in the early Spring, then had to wait for over 2 months before I could have the dentist build my dentures. One more visit...next Wednesday, and I will be the proud owner of some new teeth! (I can actually "chew" again, and even eat the foods that I have missed sooo much!!!)

Of course, there was the garden that we tended to and harvested; the photography; many hours of just sitting outside watching the birds and the clouds, and feeling the breezes on my face. 

Heaven.

With the school year starting, came obligations for me to get my neice off to school in the morning, and pick her up at night after volleyball practice or her games. As well, she has been in physical therapy (1-2 times a week), so we are up and on the road before the sun begins to rise. After therapy...I drop her off to school.

Last week, I saw the surgeon that put cortisone in my shoulders earlier this year, as I have suddenly developed a lump on the inside of my right wrist. Monday I will have an MRI on it, to determine whether it is a tumor or an aneurysm...and hopefully it won't turn out to be cancerous. 


(I will also be getting another round of cortisone in both shoulders...it's time. The pain is getting to be almost unbearable again. I don't like this 'getting older' thing...my body wants to give up on me!  Sigh...)

But that's a brief summary of what's going on in my life...and I am trying to get myself pulled together again after enjoying the Summer way-too-much and letting my mind drift way-too-far!

Thanks for reading...!

                        


Monday, October 15, 2012

Fall 2012 in photos

Washington hawthorn berries...10/4/12


Since I have an overabundance of photos that I have taken, I thought I would give you some other visions of Fall here in the Southern Tier of New York.

Burning bush in our yard...10/4/12

The hillside across the valley from us...10/4/12

sparrow...10/4/12

Red-winged blackbird...10/4/12

neighbor's maple (in orange)...10/5/12

another neighbor's maple...10/5/12

wild berries growing off a telephone pole guidewire...10/5/12

some weeds also turn red...10/5/12

burdocks...10/5/12

leaves on a tree in front of our house...10/5/12

hillside outside of Naples, NY...10/5/12

Another hillside outside of Naples, NY. Notice the haze...it's likely from
the high humidity we had during a spell of warmer weather...10/5/12

another view of the hill across the valley from us...10/6/12
(again, you can see the haze)

bale of wheat straw, beginning a growing cycle, despite the cold temps
10/10/12

Corn ready for harvesting...10/10/12

maple beginning to change...10/10/12

Honey locust leaves...after our first frost: 10/13/12

some leaves still cling to the Honey locust branches...10/13/12

burning bush...10/15/12


not sure what kind of tree/leaves these are...10/1/12

farm that sells vegetables and such...10/10/12

sumac beginning its change...10/1/12

assorted leaves in the yard...10/1/12

a stand of trees that got their colors early...10/1/12

small maple in our yard that is beginning to turn...10/3/12

found this little fella (caterpillar) on our porch...10/8/12

me playing with black and white on a cold cloudy day...10/6/12

This is how the valley looks today...10/15/12

I hope you enjoyed the photos!  Thanks for stopping by!


     

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Aging with a Smile [Humor]



[Here are some humorous quips about getting older.  All of us are...maybe some faster than others!  LOL  Enjoy!]

Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old, as long as she buys him a few
drinks first.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as
it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it.

I'm getting into swing dancing.. Not on purpose. Some parts of my body are
just prone to swinging.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.

I think I've reached my sexpiration date.

People our age can still enjoy an active, passionate sex life! Provided we
get cable or that dish thing.

The good news is that even as we get older, guys still look at our boobs.
The bad news is they have to squat down first.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."

I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for women my age, but they
haven't made one called "Buns of Putty."

Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child
playing with matches.

Don't let aging get you down.  It's too hard to get back up.

And finally:  


Remember...You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old
because you stop laughing.



                                     

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Family Tree of Vincent Van Gogh (Humor)

Van Gogh

(Who thinks up these things ???)


Vincent's dizzy aunt -------------------------------------- Verti Gogh



His brother who ate prunes------------------------- Gotta Gogh


The brother who worked at a convenience store ------ Stop N Gogh


The grandfather from Yugoslavia ----------------------------- U Gogh


His magician uncle -------------------------------- Where-diddy Gogh


His Mexican cousin ------------------------------------ A Mee Gogh


The Mexican cousin's American half-brother ------------ Gring Gogh


The nephew who drove a stage coach --------------- Wells-far Gogh


The constipated uncle ------------------------------------- Can't Gogh


The ballroom dancing aunt -------------------------------- Tang Gogh


The bird lover uncle -------------------------------------- Flamin Gogh


The fruit-loving cousin -------------------------------------- Man Gogh


An aunt who taught positive thinking ------------------ Way-to-Gogh


The little bouncy nephew ----------------------------------- Poe Gogh


A sister who loved disco---------------------------------- Go Gogh



And his niece who travels the country in an RV --- Winnie Bay Gogh



I saw you smiling . . .. There ya Gogh!!!  :)


                              

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Words of Wisdom (Humor)




People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement.

Never read the fine print.
There ain't no way you're going to like it.


If you let a smile be your umbrella,
then most likely your butt will get soaking wet.

The only two things we do with greater frequency
in middle age are urinate and attend funerals.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody
has the same size bucket.

To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely.

Do you realize that in about 40 years,
we'll have thousands of old ladies
running around with tattoos?

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable
to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.

Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single.

Living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.

After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint,
you are probably dead.



       

People are beautiful....





[Photo by me, quote by Marcus Zusak]


        

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Retirement options...

(From the movie "UP")


You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where... 

1.  You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. 
2.  You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water
in the toilet bowl. 
3.  You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town. 
4.  You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food. 
5.  You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the
face when you open your oven door. 
6.  The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU
KIDDING ME? 

OR You can retire to California where... 

1.  You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house. 
2.  The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway. 
3.  You know how to eat an artichoke. 
4.  You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party. 
5.  When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how
long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is. 
6.  The 4 seasons are Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought. 

OR You can retire to New York City where... 

1.  You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan

2.  You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from
Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. 
3.  You think Central Park is "nature." 
4.  You believe that being able to swear at people in their own
language makes you multilingual. 
5.  You've worn out a car horn.  (Ed. Note: if you have a car). 
6.  You think eye contact is an act of aggression. 

OR You can retire to Minnesota where... 

1.  You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco . 
2.  Halloween costumes fit over parkas. 
3.  You have more than one recipe for casserole.  (another Ed. Note:
this is called "hot dish") 
4.  Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons. 
5.  The four seasons are winter, still winter, almost winter, and
construction. 

OR You can retire to the Deep South where... 

1.  You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store. 
2.  "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.  
3.  "He needed killin'" is a valid defense. 
4.  Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Ellen,
Betty Jean, etc. 
5.  Everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder." 
It's important to know the difference, too. 

OR You can retire to Colorado where... 

1.  You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car. 
2.  You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he
stops at the day care center. 
3.  A pass does not involve a football or dating. 
4.  The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail. 

OR You can retire to the central Midwest where... 

1.  You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name. 
2.  Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor. 
3.  You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day. 
4.  You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?" 
5.  When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It
was different!" 

OR FINALLY You can retire to Florida where... 

1.  You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon. 
2.  All purchases include a coupon of some kind, even houses and
cars. 
3.  Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist. 
4.  Road construction never ends anywhere in the state. 
5.  Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.


**Hope I made you smile today!


  

Monday, October 1, 2012

Images of Fall in New York

This morning, Oct. 1, 2012

Well, Summer has passed in a blur of gardening, reflection, observation and enjoying a simple life. Now, with cooler temperatures settling in, the plants in the garden are fading fast and the leaves on the trees are changing colors and beginning to fall like snow.

And of course, here I am, with my camera always at the ready to capture whatever I can...I do try to take at least one photo a day!  Needless to say, I have an always constant supply of photos to s
hare!

We started seeing the leaves changing colors in early September. First came the yellowing of various trees.

9/12/12
Sugar maples  went quickly into the pinks and reds.

9/17/12
Other trees across the hillsides began to show signs too...

9/23/12
Now, we really are beginning to see the hillsides evolve into more and more colors:

9/26/12
While some trees are only just beginning to lose the green in their leaves.

9/27/12
Sadly, it isn't long after the leaves have reached the height of their color, the leaves begin to fall with each breeze and gust of wind.

9/27/12

We are still in the phase though, of colors becoming more and more vibrant, with plenty of trees yet TO lose their green coloring.


10/1/12
These next two photos are from my back porch this morning. The maple trees are such a wonderful shade!

10/1/12
Here is a tree that is almost Christmasy!

10/1/12


A sumac tree that has gone into it's seasonal leaf change...

10/1/12
Maples that are various phases of change...

10/1/12
And finally, a maple that has gone into mostly red...

10/1/12
There will be more to come, rest assured...as I am trying to document via photos, our seasonal changes here in New York, USA.

Thanks for stopping by!