Thursday, September 12, 2013

Bumper Sticker Humor









*Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

*I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.


*WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.


*Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.


*IRS We've got what it takes to take what you've got.


*Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.


*Hang up and drive.


*I took an IQ test and the results were negative.


*Where there's a will...I want to be in it.


*It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.


*Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?


*Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home.


*Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.


*If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of car payments.


*I've taken a vow of poverty. To annoy me, send money.


*Never take life seriously.


*Nobody gets out alive, anyway.


*Never knock on Death's door: Ring the doorbell and run (he hates that)


*I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.


*You have the right to remain silent.


*Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.


*You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.


*The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.


*Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.


*If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?


*The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
cheese.


*Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.


*Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.


*CATS: The other white meat


*I'm an imbecile and I vote


*Money Isn't Everything... But it Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch


*If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now


*Saw it... Wanted it... Had a fit... Got it!


*WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition


*If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!


*Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.


*You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me not you!


*You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT


*Grow your own dope, plant a man


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