Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Personal Ads Probably Not Answered (Humor)

Personal Ads That Were Probably NEVER Answered

SWM: Roommate needed for six bedroom north side condo.
$800/month plus 1/2 utilities. Must enjoy garlic, taxidermy & clock repair.

SWF: Seeks any M, age 16-52, for immediate marriage.
Willing to beg. Call 24/hours, 7/days 1-800-I'm-4you.

SWM: 39, enjoys assault rifles, heavy drinking, and testosterone.
Seeks like-minded SF, W only, to listen to political conspiracy theories
and help stock secluded mountain shelter.  Don't bother to write, I already know where you live.

SWF: 25, enjoys poetry recitals, interpretive dance, herb tea, New Age
music, Communing with Gaian nature spirits, and Jello sculpting.
Seeks aloof, analytic whimp.

SWM: 59, wide range of interests including: Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, Power Rangers, and Sea Quest.ISO compatible F.

SM: Seeking an adventurous SF Interested in underwater bondage with or
w/o scuba gear And albino livestock breeding. No weirdos please.

SBM: Vegetarian Truck-driving Republican juggler Wishes to meet woman
of similar interests Must be ambidextrous.

DWF: Crazy ppl Need Love Too. If you enjoy destroying good furniture, Police lineups and locking your friends in closets, We already have three things in common! Let's get together.

DM: Physician, 35 Desires to meet that special woman with real inner
beauty. Send latest X-rays.

DWM: Compulsive Liar Seeks beautiful woman to share my million dollar
Riviera chateau. Visa Gold Card a must.  Private plane a plus.

SWM: 32, my life's work is verifying, in detail, all the episodes shown
on"The X-Files". ISO SWF with like dedication. Must be willing to travel a lot

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by!