Serendipity

1. The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient. 2. My therapist said  that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me. 3. My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I've gained since then. 4. I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?” 5. Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks! 6. If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple “Thank you” is all I need ... not all this, “How did you get into my house?” business! 7. The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something. 8. On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week. Whereas, a Japanese man will hav...

Does this look familiar? I realize this topic has seen a lot of play over the recent years, yet nothing seems to be getting done to change things. Why?  I admit, I am totally baffled. Yet I'm not. Exactly when did parenting skills start falling apart? Isn't that really what's going on? Parenting has changed, we as adults have changed. I found this on Facebook, believe it or not. Talk about perfect timing! But it says it all for the most part. Do you agree? My parents, especially my mother was pretty strict. When I had kids, I was fairly strict. My daughter is fairly strict. My sons not so much. The difference being that I was harder on my daughter because she was a girl. I didn't want her to make the mistakes I did. Now I'm not saying my sons are super lenient, they are not. But they give more leeway with their children than my daughter does. I will tell you that her children are well behaved and know respect and common sense is no stranger to them...

I have been thinking about a lot of things over the last 4 - 5 months. Not to the point of obsessing, just trying to puzzle out some things we deal with in life. One of the things that I've learned over the years is that we can spend a long time with someone...yet never really 'know' them. Or they 'knowing' you. I have to wonder how that can be when this person started and for the most part remained my best friend, yet we really didn't know each other. This happened many times. Some place along the line we stopped learning and wanting to learn about each other. Why? Was it after the first couple of hurts...where words were said that hurt feelings or actions that betrayed feelings? I don't know...not for sure. I know for me, my feelings are easily hurt, but it's even worse when words that were hurled at me were said with menace. I actually keep a tally mentally in my head of how many times I am made to cry, or feel belittled. And yes...I di...

1.  A day without sunshine is like night. 2.. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap. 9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have. 10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. 12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. 13. How many of you believe in psychokinesis? Raise my hand. 14. OK, so what's the speed of dark? 15. When everything is coming your way, you're inthe wrong lane. 16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. 17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? 18. Eagles may soar, bu...

1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. 2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative. 3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me. 4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast. 5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..." 6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here. 7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner. 8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? 9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected. 10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's. 11. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. 12. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect. 13. Everyday I beat m...

As I am known for inspirational quotes on my Facebook page, Serendipity ...I would like to share some here that I found on a website via Oprah .  I have a fondness for quotes like this, as they become a reminder not to belittle myself, that there really is hope out there for us, as well as helping me with my own bouts of depression.  I truly hope that of these, you will find one that will sing to your soul. And with that, I bid you all a wonderful day! Remember, "LIKE" my page on Facebook and stay updated! 

I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out. ------------------------------ ------------------- I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now. ------------------------------ ----------------------- You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just looking at her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably angry. ------------------------------ ----------------- Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers. ------------------------------ -------------------------- You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That's common sense leaving your body. ------------------------------ ------------------------------ I don't like making plans for the day because then the word "premeditated" get's thrown around in the courtroom. ---...

*Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal. *I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. *WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship. *Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder. *IRS We've got what it takes to take what you've got. *Out of my mind...Back in five minutes. *Hang up and drive. *I took an IQ test and the results were negative. *Where there's a will...I want to be in it. *It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. *Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? *Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home. *Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else. *If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of car payments. *I've taken a vow of poverty. To annoy me, send money. *Never take life seriously. *Nobody gets out alive, anyway. *Never knock on Death's door: Ring the doorbell and run (he hates that) *I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. *You have the ri...

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!  Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio . "To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more: 1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. 3. Life is too short – enjoy it. 4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. 5. Pay off your credit cards every month. 6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself. 7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone. 8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it. 9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. 10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. 11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw u...

Idle Thoughts Of A Wandering Mind:   I planted some bird seed.   A bird came up.   Now I don't know what to feed it   ********************   I had amnesia once---or twice   ********************   I went to San Francisco .   I found someone's heart. Now what?   ********************   Protons have mass?   I didn't even know they were Catholic.   ********************   All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy   ********************   If the world were a logical place,   Men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.   ********************   What is a "free" gift?   Aren't all gifts free?   ********************   They told me I was gullible   And I believed them.   ********************   Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home   And, when he grows up,   He'll never be able to merge his car onto the fre...

I was reading something earlier today that prompted me to write this little piece...the questioned posed was: What do you want to be remembered for?   I had never thought about that before...have you? After spending a fair share of the day pondering that question, here is my answer:  I would want to be remembered for: <> Being a good mom, despite my failings. I am not perfect, but I know that I did the best I could. <> Being the best friend that I could be.. . always being there when my friends need me, mentally and emotionally.     <> Being compassionate, understanding, forgiving, and gentle spirited.   <> Having touched peoples lives in a positive way...leaving with them a part of me that somehow made their lives different....bearable.   <> Being a good writer, someone who expressed their thoughts, feelings and beliefs in a way that others could understand and perhaps agree with.   <> Alwa...