Serendipity

IBS-D changes the way you live It wasn't that long ago, maybe 4-5 years, that I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I'd always known something wasn't right with me, there would be times that my skin felt like it was on fire and that anything touching my skin like clothing, made it almost intolerable. I've felt this since I was maybe 15 or 16 years old. (My mom likely had the same thing, as she also complained of this.) If you don't know Fibromyalgia is, the Mayo Clinic says:  " Fibromyalgia is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals. While there is no cure for Fibromyalgia, a variety of medications can help control symptoms. Exercise, relaxation and stress-reduction measures also may help." I take medication that really helps the nerves not misfire an...

The rotator cuff is a group of muscles and tendons that form a cuff over the shoulder. These muscles and tendons hold the arm in its "ball and socket" joint and are involved in essentially all shoulder motions. Back in April, I talked about (in another blog ) having to go to physical therapy for pain that I was having in both shoulders...and had lost my strength and range of motion in both arms. While in PT, I found out that my muscles from my neck to my lower back had seized. Not good. I remained in PT for a few weeks, until I was able to get in to see an orthopedic surgeon. The doctor was great...and actually took the time to show me in a medical book, what was going on with my shoulders, after he reviewed the xrays his office took of my shoulders.  Diagnosis: tendinitis of the rotor cuff . Tearing and inflammation of the tendons of the shoulder muscles can occur in sports which require the arm to be moved over the head repeatedly as in tennis,...

The pond I fished in as a child looked almost exactly like this one! My grandfather was my best friend as a child, everywhere he went, he came and got me on his little Ford tractor or in his car and we went off wandering the farm. One day, he decided he'd take me fishing to a pond that was out in the middle of a cow pasture near one of our barns on top of the hill. Loaded with worms, the tackle box and our fishing poles...mine was a bamboo pole...we crossed through the barbed wire fence and walked the little ways across the uneven ground (pitted with cow tracks) to the pond. Grandpa told me we had to take some of the bullheads out of it, as it was getting too overpopulated and they wouldn't get any bigger otherwise. Being a young girl, then of about age 13, and wanting to get a tan, I wore a bikini top with my shorts, even against the warning of my mother, as it was not only very hot and muggy out that day, but hazy as well. She told me I was going to get a "bad...

A beginning...or...an end? As I sit here tonight, there is a lot going through my head. Last night, I received some news that although wasn't surprising, has effected me to some degree. I may be a lot of things, but cold-hearted isn't one of them. I have talked a lot about a man, who I spent 3-1/2 weeks with, got to know, and learned that he wasn't the kind, sweet man he pretended to be. And regardless of what I feel, it is unfair to continue speaking about that brief time ... now when he lies on his death bed in a hospital. He had another stroke two days ago, and this time, things are far worse.  He was completely paralyzed from what I understand, he could not talk and could only blink his eyes. His prognosis for recovery wasn't good.   Tonight though, the information came that said he now can't swallow, and they are forcing fluids into him, trying to make him comfortable...he doesn't have long to live. I find it very sad to know that his life is ...

Right from the beginning, Shawn's arrest and then sentencing has been a hard pill for me to swallow. No mother wishes to see a child in prison, but when it happens...what then? For me, it couldn't have come at a worst time.  I was still deep in the grip of my breakdown, still not able to function mentally and emotionally...and I know that I wept a lot during this time.  I couldn't believe that my son, a big, huggable teddy bear that everyone loved, could do something so terrible.  It just didn't fit. Shawn's case was high profile, this was a big deal in a county that is one of the biggest in New York, and as much as I wanted to be there for my son...I couldn't.  I couldn't make myself go to the court hearings, I didn't want to be seen by the public or in the media...as I said, I was having a very hard time coping. A war raged inside of me then too...unending questions, uncertainties, blaming myself, even though I did my best to bring my son  up righ...

My mom on her wedding day That's the day that changed the lives of my brother, sister and I forever.  February 8, 1975.  It's etched into my brain so that I can never forget that our mom was taken from us. It was a Saturday morning, like most others that Winter, where my mom would often get dressed-up in her one-piece snow outfit and take off for a while to enjoy the outdoors on her snow mobile.  That morning, it was mid-morning when she left...asking me to make sure that our dad got his hot lunch when he came in from doing chores at the dairy farm where we lived.   I said I would.   Dad came in for lunch about noon, and we (Dad, my brother, sister and I) all ate and talked about whatever the subject might have been that day.  After a bit, Dad headed back out to return to the barns which were less than a 5-minute walk up the road from our house.   I can't remember what I was doing at the time, maybe cleaning up after the meal and d...

Writing is the most powerful way I know of to sort through all the inner voices. ~ Rebecca Maddox As a teen, I did what most teens did by keeping a small diary of my days at school, my crushes and frustrations with school mates, but it wasn't until my second marriage that I started journaling again...because I felt so lost, so miserable inside, and needed a place where I could find some small piece of sanity.  A place where I felt at peace. For the duration of that marriage, some 11 years, I filled literally dozens upon dozens of spiral single, three and five subject notebooks, and as each one was finished, I placed them on my book shelf.  I had no fear of being spied upon by my husband or step-children because they had no interest in what I was writing.  I had learned a tip from reading about journal-keeping: what's obvious isn't interesting to others.  Hide a diary, then others will want to know what it is you are writing about....