Serendipity

© Debra Myers How do I begin to tell you how I am feeling these days...which has now turned into at least two weeks? Shall I define it in single words?   Depression. Anxiety. Love/hate. Sadness. Withdrawal. Pain. Loneliness.  This is nothing new for me. I have been dealing with seasonal depression for as along as I have been an adult, and it's always worse with the holidays coming up: Thanksgiving and Christmas. Why? I wish I could definitively tell you. For me...I think all the traumatic incidences that have happened in my life coalesce at this time of year for some unknown reason. It all comes back to me in waves...some days it's my past that plays battle in my mind, other days it's whatever has happened in the last eight years, as far as my children go.  There is moments of overwhelming sadness...of things lost...my innocence, my youth, my mom, my sense of family. And right now, I think that it's the sense of family...meaning that of my children no...

Fence surround Wende Correctional Facility, Alden, NY As many of you know, my son: Shawn Campbell , is on a Journey to Justice  (the first of many blogs following his journey through the court system) to correct the wrongs that have been done to him...including imprisoning him for a crime he did not commit. However, since he is incarcerated in the meantime, he has asked me to write this blog to help get exposure for two online petitions and to push for prison reform in New York State. The S.A.F.E. [ Safe And Fair Evaluation of Parole Act] Parole Act " would amend New York’s existing parole statute,  Executive Law § 259-i."   As it stands now, inmates that go in front of the parole board may get denied several times, for issues that are out of his/her control...specifically: the Parole board looks at the crime committed; dis-allows any good behavior; the completion of necessary programs needed for their eventual release (if under a life sentence) IF availa...

Little nubs of growth...3/18/12 As I mentioned in my previous blog: Taking the time , I have spending a lot of time getting back to things that I love...watching the world  change  outside my door as Spring settles in. I have not been more thoroughly fascinated in anything for some time as really "seeing" the moods of the skies, the various birds that flit about, and even photographically documenting the growth of a patch of rhubarb that is growing just off the back porch. It may sound like a rather nutty thing to do, but I can only say that all of this...right down to watching the rhubarb change day-to-day/week-to-week has given me a wonderful sense of peace and even gratitude for being able TO see everything around me! What follows are photos of the changes as the rhubarb develops and the leaves unfold. I have never noticed the beauty of these leaves before...and I hope that they will amaze you as well!  Enjoy! In just two days time, the nubs in the top ph...

Beautiful skies...Dec. 20, 2011 While we are constantly being bombarded by both the scientists and the nay-sayers as to whether climate change or global warming is real or not...anyone who is really paying attention, can tell you that the weather patterns are changing. I've been witnessing it for years now, and it's more evident this Winter than ever before. I titled this "What Winter?" for that very reason, as we aren't seeing 'typical' Winter weather here in NY. In fact, we haven't seen more than 2"-3" of snow total yet this season. sanders plowing and sanding...12/9/2011 With this snowfall we have gotten, of course it's a necessity that the roads be plowed and/or sanded/salted. Snow storm...12/23/2011 A nice dusting on the trees looks so pretty... Snow storm...12/23/2011 At least there are still berries on the trees for the birds... Snow storm...12/23/2011 When the snow did...

Thanksgiving has always been about being together as a family and as we approach Thanksgiving day tomorrow, I can't help thinking about how things have changed over the years of my life. While memories can give us solace at times, it also gives me a sense of sadness too. As a child growing up, the holiday season...Thanksgiving and Christmas meant family get-togethers with a huge variety of foods...enough to last for days afterwards. Turkey, ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes, squash, cranberry sauce, breads of all kinds and of course the pies.  Lots of pies. Pumpkin, blueberry, mincemeat, apple, cherry, pudding pies...yummy! In those days, the house was full of laughter and good conversations between my parents, aunts and uncles, and my cousins and I. Good times. As I went into adulthood with my own children in tow, I tried to keep that family tradition alive during the holidays, with the large varieties of foods and the large selection of pies for our desert later; tried to...

When I was growing up, I can remember that Sundays were the day when our extended family would all come together at either our house or that of one of my aunts and uncles. Big meals were made, and there were so many fun times...indoors or out...depending on the weather and the season at the time. After my mother died when I was 16, things changed... Sundays changed. Gone were the family get-togethers...the closeness...the essence of family I had grown up with. As I grew into motherhood and watched my children grow into adulthood, my hopes were that maybe we could restart that Sunday tradition of getting together for a good home-made meal, and sharing our lives, laughter and keeping the essence of family intact. For the first few years that my oldest two were on their own, we did get together at my oldest son's for one of his wonderful home-made meals, usually on a Sunday but even that ended with his arrest and eventual prison sentence.  Since then...our family ...

The words in this image say it all.  The very words, "You've changed" is something that two of my kids have told me time and time again...to the point that I am wondering what exactly their expectations of me are. I am the mother of three adult children, who are and have been out on their own for years. But when I had my breakdown, I moved in with my daughter and there I lived until the beginning of September.  She often would look at me and tell me that she missed the mom that she had when she was a teenager...and my response would be that I am not the same person that I was then. Too much life has been lived and too many changes have taken place. I have evolved, trying to find out who I am, apart from being a daughter, sister, mother and having been a wife three times. My oldest son, recently sent me a letter too, saying that I have changed...I am not the mom that he remembers. It wasn't a pleasant letter, and has caused me some anger, frustration and has m...

Shades of orange blaze on this tree in a neighbor's yard. New York State is one of the many that has the luxury of having beautiful and colorful changes in the Fall.  I'd like to share with you, some of the beauty. It's not uncommon for the smaller trees and plants to begin changing colors before the surrounding, taller trees... Greens make way for shades of pink Even weeds get into the swing of things, changing their green for colors of purple, reds and yellows... Even weeds are alight with color These shrubs begin with a gorgeous shade of pink...   Pretty in pink The hillsides are a little longer in changing colors... a farm framed by a changing landscape Berries are especially pretty to photograph... ripened berries that the birds will enjoy The hillside is beginning to show its Fall splendor... It's begun... Leaves close-up are a special sight... Some leaves have turned... Even if they have not begun to lose their green ...