Serendipity

Some 'Senior' personal ads seen in ''the Villages'' Florida newspapers: (Who says seniors don't have a sense of humor?) FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus. LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem. SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times. WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy. BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar....

Personal Ads That Were Probably NEVER Answered SWM: Roommate needed for six bedroom north side condo. $800/month plus 1/2 utilities. Must enjoy garlic, taxidermy & clock repair. SWF: Seeks any M, age 16-52, for immediate marriage. Willing to beg. Call 24/hours, 7/days 1-800-I'm-4you. SWM: 39, enjoys assault rifles, heavy drinking, and testosterone. Seeks like-minded SF, W only, to listen to political conspiracy theories and help stock secluded mountain shelter.  Don't bother to write, I already know where you live. SWF: 25, enjoys poetry recitals, interpretive dance, herb tea, New Age music, Communing with Gaian nature spirits, and Jello sculpting. Seeks aloof, analytic whimp. SWM: 59, wide range of interests including: Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, Power Rangers, and Sea Quest. ISO compatible F. SM: Seeking an adventurous SF Interested in underwater bondage with or w/o scuba gear And albino livestock breeding. No weirdos please. SBM: Vegetarian Truck-driving Republ...