Serendipity

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. - Unknown Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. - Unknown Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies. - Gene Hill In dog years, I'm dead. - Unknown To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. - August Strindberg No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. - Fran Lebowitz Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a co...

[Thinking Girl DeviantID 2 by discoandrea] 1. "I got kicked out of Riverdance for using my arms." - Michael Flatley (lead Riverdancer) 2. (On the difference between men and women:) "On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars." - Bruce Willis 3. "And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'" - George Burns 4. "What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'" - Sandra Bullock 5. "The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will ask, 'Specify type of goat.'" -Jason Alexander (from Seinfeld) 6. "Luge strategy? Li...

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!  Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio . "To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more: 1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. 3. Life is too short – enjoy it. 4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. 5. Pay off your credit cards every month. 6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself. 7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone. 8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it. 9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. 10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. 11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw u...

1. "I got kicked out of Riverdance for using my arms." - Michael Flatley  (lead Riverdancer)   2. (On the difference between men and women:) "On the one hand, we'll  never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own  jars." - Bruce Willis  3. "And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything  on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on  Satan.'" - George Burns  4. "What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?  'Hold my purse.'" - Sandra Bullock  5. "The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a  twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out  there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and  the computer will ask, 'Specify type of goat.'" -Jason Alexander (from  Seinfeld)  6. "Luge strategy? Lie flat and t...

I received an email this morning, that I almost deleted without reading, but something told me to open it up...and I did. This is what it said: Dear Debra, Your life is what you make it. Your happiness depends primarily on your attitude in life, and especially on the nature and quality of your thoughts and ideas, which are more powerful than you may imagine. They’re your main weapon in your fight to lead the life you want. You don’t see the world as it is, but as your mind sees it. In other words, all your perceptions and thoughts act as a filter between reality and you. The world is what you think it is. If you think it’s bad, you won’t be able to make progress. Your thoughts influence your existence, as well as your environment. You’ll be happy or unhappy depending on whether your thoughts are positive or negative. To make your ideas as powerful as possible, they have to be positive. When a negative idea enters your mind, let it come. When it goes, let it leave. ...

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2 . In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere. 4. People call at 9 pm and ask, "Did I wake you?" 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. 7. Things you buy now won't wear out. 8. You can eat supper at 4 pm. 9. You can live without sex but not your glasses. 1 0. You get into heated arguments about pension plans. 11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. 12. You stop trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. 13. You sing along with elevator music. 14. Your eyes won't get much worse. 15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. 17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. 18. Your supply ...

1· I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. 2· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. 3· Life is sexually transmitted. 4· Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. 5· The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. 6· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. 7· Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? 8· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. 9· All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. 10· In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it Normal . 11· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? 12· Who was th...