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Signs Found In The Kitchen (But not mine. Yet!)

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Not my kitchen...just one from an image search! So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust! Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself! I clean house every other day. Today is the other day. If you write in the dust, please don't date it! I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener! A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life. My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it! I came, I saw, I decided to order take out. If you don't like my standards of cooking ...lower your  standards. Although you'll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse. It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse. A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is  delirious. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand! Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. Countless number of people have...