Serendipity

The Law of Volunteering" If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead. "The Law of Avoiding Oversell" When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse. "The Law of Common Sense" Never accept a drink from a urologist. "The Law of Reality" Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. "The Law of Self Sacrifice" When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last. "Weiler's Law" Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. "Law of Probable Dispersal" Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. "Law of Volunteer Labor" People are always available for work in the past tense. "Conway's Law" In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired. "Iron Law of Distribution" Them that has, gets. "Law of Cybernetic Entomology" There is always on...

I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out. ------------------------------ ------------------- I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now. ------------------------------ ----------------------- You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just looking at her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably angry. ------------------------------ ----------------- Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers. ------------------------------ -------------------------- You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That's common sense leaving your body. ------------------------------ ------------------------------ I don't like making plans for the day because then the word "premeditated" get's thrown around in the courtroom. ---...

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: - Knowing when to come in out of the rain; - Why the early bird gets the worm; ... - Life isn't always fair; - And maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies, don't spend more than you can earn and adults, not children, are in charge.  His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they thems...