Serendipity

...your sweetie says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!" ...your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. ...a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door nearest your car. ...you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick. ...going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. ...you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. ...when it takes longer to rest than to get tired. ...when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. ..."getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today. ..."getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot. ... an "all niter" means not getting up to pee! **Okay folks...I have to admit that I have picked on older folk a lot lately, but hey--I am not longer a Spring chicken myself!  :) Thanks fo...

(From the movie "UP") You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where...  1.  You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.  2.  You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.  3.  You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.  4.  You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.  5.  You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.  6.  The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  OR You can retire to California where...  1.  You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.  2.  The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.  3.  You know how to eat an artichoke.  4.  You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.  5.  When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how lo...