Serendipity

1.  If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2.  Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3.  Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any  more than going     to a garage makes you a mechanic. 4.  Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 5.  If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never     tried before. 6.  My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a  glance. 7.  Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that  life is     serious. 8.  It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. 9.  For every action, there is an equal and opposite government     program. 10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the     trip. 11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. 12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so     good. 13. Eat well, stay fit, die...

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!  Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio . "To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more: 1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. 3. Life is too short – enjoy it. 4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. 5. Pay off your credit cards every month. 6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself. 7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone. 8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it. 9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. 10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. 11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw u...

People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement. Never read the fine print. There ain't no way you're going to like it. If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your butt will get soaking wet. The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and attend funerals. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket. To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai. Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single. Living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.         

1. "I got kicked out of Riverdance for using my arms." - Michael Flatley  (lead Riverdancer)   2. (On the difference between men and women:) "On the one hand, we'll  never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own  jars." - Bruce Willis  3. "And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything  on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on  Satan.'" - George Burns  4. "What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?  'Hold my purse.'" - Sandra Bullock  5. "The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a  twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out  there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and  the computer will ask, 'Specify type of goat.'" -Jason Alexander (from  Seinfeld)  6. "Luge strategy? Lie flat and t...

I have always believed that as we go through rough periods in our lives and as we reach the end of them, we begin a new chapter in our lives because we have grown intellectually, mentally and emotionally.  This last chapter of my life has lasted a very long time...9-1/2 years to be exact...and I am now beginning a new chapter in my life. This chapter will be titled: "Rebirth". All that know me well, know that I hold little to no regard for internet dating sites or chat rooms...I've seen them be the beginning of someone else's misery...meaning destroyed families and marriages.  I've tried one dating site, but was soon disgusted...and cancelled my membership after the first 24 hours.  To me...dating sites are akin to walking dark streets in a shady neighborhood at midnight...where you know that you are risking your life at the hands of criminals that you can't quite see.  I had resigned myself to the fact that I was probably always going to remain single,...