Serendipity

There are a lot of folks who can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in America. Well, there's a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely geographical. All our oil is in Alaska, Texas, California, and Oklahoma. All our dipsticks are in Washington, DC.  Sorry--I had to share because there is a bit of truth in this! :) Thanks for reading! D

1.  If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2.  Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3.  Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any  more than going     to a garage makes you a mechanic. 4.  Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 5.  If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never     tried before. 6.  My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a  glance. 7.  Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that  life is     serious. 8.  It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. 9.  For every action, there is an equal and opposite government     program. 10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the     trip. 11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. 12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so     good. 13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. 14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. 15. No husband has ever been shot whil

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny! NAME: Greg Bulmash. SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE