Serendipity

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny! NAME: Greg Bulmash. SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE...

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -- Winston Churchill "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure" -- Clarence Darrow "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway) "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." -- Mark Twain "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend. If you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill followed by Churchill's response: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one." "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here....

Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a  London  hotel's staff and one of its guests.  The London hotel involved  submitted this to the Sunday Times. WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THOSE "FREE" SOAPS WHEN TRAVELLING ****************************************************** Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial.  Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish.  They are in my way.  Thank you, S. Berman ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Room 635, I am not your regular maid.  She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off.  I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested.  The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top ...

Who says cops don't have a sense of humor? The following were taken off of actual police car videos around the country. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile." "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun." "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?" "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?" "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." "The answer to this last quest...

I f you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius. (On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)  Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"     --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss US A contest. "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign "I've never had...

Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. ****************************** In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to go. ****************************** In a London, England cemetery: Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767 **************************** In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: Anna Wallace: The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna. Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna. ****************************** In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: Here lies Johnny Yeast. . Pardon me For not rising. ****************************** In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake. ****************************** In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery: Here lays The Kid. We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger But slow on the draw. **...

I can't claim this as my own...it was on FB!  Enjoy!                                                              

My new friends...3/31/12 It's surprising that growing up on a farm and having lived a good share of my life rurally, that I never had the chance to watch any geese, except those honking-through over head. This year, in the last month, that changed with a pair of geese that decided they liked the field behind my house to feed. Like clockwork, they showed up twice daily, once about 8 a.m. and then again about 5 p.m. They always landed in the middle of the field...so I really had to push my camera to the limit to get photos of them. 3/31/12 3/31/12 3/31/12 3/31/12 It was really hard to catch them both in the same photo...they like to wander apart yet not too far from each other. 3/31/12 3/31/12 3/31/12 I have no idea which is which as far as the gender, but I have pretty much figured out the the one that 'talks' the most is likely the male. (LOL) 4/6/12 4/6/12 Here...one adventured closer to the yard...4/6/12 As you...