Serendipity

Sadness often overwhelms me When I had my three kids, one of the things that I always hoped for was that we would be a very close family. And we were for the most part, even as my kids grew up and got out on their own. Between them, the kids weren't as close as I wished...but I was content with the way things were overall. But as things do, that changed...with the biggest change coming just recently...on my return from Wisconsin.   The biggest blow to our family unit was the arrest of my oldest son for murder. That was the crack that set the foundation of our family crumbling. The next rift was that of religion...my oldest two had turned to Christ in the last couple of years and began the push to covert my youngest and I. But we would not budge in our own beliefs.  When I returned from Wisconsin, the final nudge that has made this family fall even further--and maybe even irreparably--apart...is me. Not because I won't give in and become reborn again as a Christian, but...

Ever restless sky For the past handful of nights, I have not been sleeping well, and definitely have not been sleeping restful or through the night. My mind refuses to shut down, I toss and turn...with many things running through my mind.  This is something that's not new, but comes and goes according to what may be bothering me in my awake hours. Even then, not everything that is bothering me keeps me awake....I guess it depends on "how much" I am troubled by whatever.  Last night, my mind kept playing over and over my time spent in Wisconsin. I am still at a loss to explain how something that had started-out so well, took a turn for the worse in such a short time. Yes--I know a lot of it had to do with untruths that he told me, and also that his personality was too often very grating, demanding and selfish.  But I couldn't help but think of the good times we did have. He made me laugh...laugh harder than I've laughed in a very long time. He taught me ...