Serendipity

I have gotten up these past few mornings, realizing that I am doing the same things day after day after day. Especially in the morning. I  get up, make coffee, set the coffee cups up to have coffee added to them. I split the English muffins and put two (whole ones) in the 4-slice toaster.  Then I get out a small yogurt-sized cup for my boyfriend's applesauce, which he takes his pills with. I warm up the small fry pan, spray with generic butter spray. Two eggs go in and the yoke is broke for the home style egg and cheese english muffin.  When I open the 3 pieces cheese, Luna, our Great Pyrenees, comes running for her daily slice of cheese. Next, coffee gets poured, toaster buttons go down and muffin halves get buttered before putting the sandwiches together.  At the table, I take my boyfriend's blood glucose, dish out his pills, then turn to my insulin that I have to give to myself. Two different kinds: Basaglar and Fiasp...long term and short term insulin...

Tomorrow is my 53rd birthday. It's supposed to be a festive time...yet I am not feeling very festive at all. For the first time in the last 34 years, my family...meaning my 3 children...are farther apart mentally and emotionally than I ever thought I'd see. I never thought I'd see a day when one of my children would harbor such distrust and anger toward me...yet here it is, literally slapping me across my face. I admit that I wasn't the greatest mom on earth...not even close. I made mistakes...which I have asked forgiveness for and was forgiven...yet I am finding out now that I wasn't. Not even close. Suddenly, I've found myself looking at not one, but two letters nearly dripping with venom...getting blamed for things that I had no control over, for things that I did or did not do...and they both seemed to scream at me that I am a failure as a mother to him.  I have wrote letters attempting to defend myself...but I already know that he has the mind...

Well folks...I am still here in NY ...my plans fell through at least for the moment.   I am frustrated, hurt, angry...but I can't say whether it's more at the Uhaul company or myself for not following my gut feelings. When I reserved the truck back in the first week of August, I was told that all I would need is a $100 deposit and the balance would be due when I returned the truck at my destination.  In all honesty, it seemed TOO simple...and between then and the time that I was supposed to pick up the truck, I called several times to verify and re-verify that the information was correct...talking to a different woman every single time.  Each time I called...I got the same answer...$100 deposit and the balance when I got to Wisconsin and returned the truck. As scheduled, I went to get the truck, and low and behold...my gut feelings were confirmed...the whole balance was due BEFORE I even took the truck!  I was devastated (to say the least) because I did not hav...

[[**I received this as an email months ago, and although I do share 'some' of the same feelings and thoughts, make no mistake that these are someone else's words...not mine.  Thanks for reading!**]] I'm 63 .    Except for one semester in college when jobs were scarce and a six-month period when I was between jobs, but job-hunting every day, I've worked, hard,   since I was 18. Despite some health challenges, I still put in 50-hour weeks, and haven't called in sick in seven or eight years. I make a good salary, but I didn't inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, there's no retirement in sight, and I'm tired. Very tired.        I'm tired  of being told that I have to "spread the wealth" to people who don't have my work ethic. I'm tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy to e...