Serendipity

I have gotten up these past few mornings, realizing that I am doing the same things day after day after day. Especially in the morning. I  get up, make coffee, set the coffee cups up to have coffee added to them. I split the English muffins and put two (whole ones) in the 4-slice toaster.  Then I get out a small yogurt-sized cup for my boyfriend's applesauce, which he takes his pills with. I warm up the small fry pan, spray with generic butter spray. Two eggs go in and the yoke is broke for the home style egg and cheese english muffin.  When I open the 3 pieces cheese, Luna, our Great Pyrenees, comes running for her daily slice of cheese. Next, coffee gets poured, toaster buttons go down and muffin halves get buttered before putting the sandwiches together.  At the table, I take my boyfriend's blood glucose, dish out his pills, then turn to my insulin that I have to give to myself. Two different kinds: Basaglar and Fiasp...long term and short term insulins.  Now I c

Last Tuesday, was probably the worst day of my life. It almost was the end of my life if I hadn't done what my doctor ordered. Truth is, I hadn't been feeling well for quite some but had no idea as to the cause for it. I'd gotten so used to this state of being that it wasn't until things got progressively worse that I scheduled a doctor's appointment for last Tuesday. (August 13, 2019.) My doctor asked me what was going on so I told her that there were several things going on: having extreme auras without the migraine; my balance was way off; so exhausted all the time; muscle weakness to the point simple tasks literally wore me out; shakey legs so that it was all I could do to remain standing; nausea without vomiting; brief headaches without the auras were the worst of my complaints.  Starting off, she didn't know what to say so started with getting my vitals. She tried to get my blood pressure but could not find it. So she asked her nurse to try...ag

1.  Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2.  Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3.  If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4.  If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5.  Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? 6.  Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? 7.  Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? 8.  Why do "tug" boats push their barges? 9.  Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there? 10.  Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting? 11.  Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"? 12.  Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected? 13.  Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites? 14.  Why do "overlook" and "oversee" m

Question : If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer : "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever." -- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff." -- Mariah Carey "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." -- David Dinkins, former New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part

1. The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient. 2. My therapist said  that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me. 3. My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I've gained since then. 4. I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?” 5. Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks! 6. If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple “Thank you” is all I need ... not all this, “How did you get into my house?” business! 7. The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something. 8. On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week. Whereas, a Japanese man will have sex only one

Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.  Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. You watch the Weather Channel. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning  of one. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3