Thursday, September 12, 2013

Bumper Sticker Humor

*Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

*I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

*WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

*Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.

*IRS We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

*Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.

*Hang up and drive.

*I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

*Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

*It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

*Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

*Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home.

*Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.

*If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of car payments.

*I've taken a vow of poverty. To annoy me, send money.

*Never take life seriously.

*Nobody gets out alive, anyway.

*Never knock on Death's door: Ring the doorbell and run (he hates that)

*I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

*You have the right to remain silent.

*Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

*You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

*The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

*Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

*If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

*The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the

*Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

*Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

*CATS: The other white meat

*I'm an imbecile and I vote

*Money Isn't Everything... But it Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch

*If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now

*Saw it... Wanted it... Had a fit... Got it!

*WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition

*If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

*Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.

*You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me not you!

*You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT

*Grow your own dope, plant a man

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