Thinking about knowing each other (in relationships)

I have been thinking about a lot of things over the last 4 - 5 months. Not to the point of obsessing, just trying to puzzle out some things we deal with in life.

One of the things that I've learned over the years is that we can spend a long time with someone...yet never really 'know' them. Or they 'knowing' you. I have to wonder how that can be when this person started and for the most part remained my best friend, yet we really didn't know each other. This happened many times.

Some place along the line we stopped learning and wanting to learn about each other.

Why?

Was it after the first couple of hurts...where words were said that hurt feelings or actions that betrayed feelings? I don't know...not for sure.

I know for me, my feelings are easily hurt, but it's even worse when words that were hurled at me were said with menace. I actually keep a tally mentally in my head of how many times I am made to cry, or feel belittled. And yes...I did go through this with the past male I was with. (I can't call him a man for my own personal reasons.) In all the relationships I've been in...this last one made me cry more times than I can count. 

Why are some humans so bent on hurting others, and being so vindictive? I never meant to hurt anyone but but I sure accumulated a ton of hurts. And yes--I can be vindictive when pushed.

Anyway...that's about all I have to say for now. 

Take care and be careful with your words and actions. 

D