Serendipity

Finally, a way to know what to pitch and what to save! :) THE GAG TEST Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night). EGGS When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime. DAIRY PRODUCTS Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already. Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese but you realize you've never purchased that kind. MAYONNAISE If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled. FROZEN FOODS Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled - (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife. EX...

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change! JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road... SARAH PALIN: BECAUSE, PRAISE JESUS, I WAS GONNA SHOOT HIS SORRY LIBERAL ASS OFF FOR BLOCKING MY VIEW OF RUSSIA! HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me. GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun? COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, y...

Daniel 2013 If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. - Unknown Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. - Unknown Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies. - Gene Hill In dog years, I'm dead. - Unknown To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to  bite people themselves. - August Strindberg No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely  certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. - Fran Lebowitz Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a  grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, p...

...your sweetie says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!" ...your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're  barefoot. ...a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage  door nearest your car. ...you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick. ...going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. ...you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't  have to go along. ...when it takes longer to rest than to get tired. ...when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the  police. ..."getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today. ..."getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot. ... an "all nighter" means not getting up to pee! Thanks for stopping by! Deb

13) When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "It won’t leak in your pocket and embarrass you." The company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won’t leak in your pocket and make you pregnant." 12) Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing Sucks like an Electrolux." 11) Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick," a curling iron, into Germany only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "Manure Stick." 10) Coors put its slogan, "Turn It Loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer From Diarrhea." 9) Pepsi’s "Come Alive With the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From the Grave" in Chinese. 8) When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they use...

A few months ago, with the encouragement of my boyfriend, I decided to try making something different, some 'food' that would appeal to my palate. I searched the cupboards to see what I had that I could use and this dish was the "well-loved" result! You will need: 2 quart sauce pan water and the following ingredients: 1 box of something like Rice-A-Roni Long Grain & Wild Rice mix 1 bag of stir fry vegetables 1 packet of Taco seasoning mix. A generic brand I use of Rice-A-Roni Also a store brand And I use the store brand in this as well. Follow the directions to prepare the rice mixture, and then add to the rice in the pan, at least half of the bag of stir fry veggies and half a packet of the taco seasoning. Bring to boil and follow the remaining directions on the rice box, until rice is tender.  There will be some standing sauce in the pan, most of which will be absorbed into the rice as it sits. Optionally, and for a different t...

I f you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius. (On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)  Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"     --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss US A contest. "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign "I've never had...