Serendipity

According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes," committed by young male repeat offenders who apparently don't know the first thing about their business.  This information was included in an interesting, amusing article titles "How Not to Rob a Bank," by Tim Clark, which appeared in the 1987 edition of The Old Farmers Almanac. Clark reported that in spite of the widespread use of surveillance cameras, 76 percent of bank robbers use no disguise, 86 percent never study the bank before robbing it, and 95 percent make no long-range plans for concealing the loot.  Thus, he offered this advice to would-be bank robbers, along with examples of what can happen if the rules aren't followed: 1. Pick the right bank.  Clark advises that you don't follow the lead of the fellow in Anaheim, Cal., who tried to hold up a bank that was no longer in business and had no money.  On the other hand, you don't wan...

Actual Lines from Resumes: I am very detail-oreinted. My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable. Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty! Enclosed is a ruff draft of my resume. I am sicking and entry-level position. It's best for employers that I not work with people. Here are my qualifications for you to overlook. I am a quick leaner, dependable, and motivated. If this resume doesn't blow your hat off, then please return it in the enclosed envelope. My fortune cookie said, "Your next interview will result in a job." And I like your company in particular. You hold in your hands the resume of a truly outstanding candidate! I saw your ad on the information highway, and I came to a screeching halt. Insufficient writing skills, thought processes have slowed down some. If I am not one of the best, I will look for another opportunity. Please disregard the attached ...

I have to admit that I am truly surprised at how many people have read the "Paper Dolls"  post I did some time ago. I would have never thought there would be so many that would find them interesting! Thank you all! It is for you that I continue with this post...adding more paper dolls that may be even more familiar to most people: Barbie, Skipper and...of course...Ken. And yes, these are mostly vintage, but should still make a little girl happy! In my day, the actual Barbie and Skipper dolls were my best friends, I took them everywhere with me!  I had tons of clothes, my mom made almost all of them! She was a very skilled seamstress!  Skipper Skipper's clothing Retro Barbie Retro Barbie Retro Barbie Retro Barbie 2 Retro Barbie Retro Ken Remember, download each photo, print on card stock and cut out to enjoy! Enjoy and have a wonderful day/evening!  Thanks for stopping by!

I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out. ------------------------------ ------------------- I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now. ------------------------------ ----------------------- You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just looking at her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably angry. ------------------------------ ----------------- Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers. ------------------------------ -------------------------- You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That's common sense leaving your body. ------------------------------ ------------------------------ I don't like making plans for the day because then the word "premeditated" get's thrown around in the courtroom. ---...

...your sweetie says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!" ...your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. ...a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door nearest your car. ...you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick. ...going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. ...you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. ...when it takes longer to rest than to get tired. ...when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. ..."getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today. ..."getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot. ... an "all niter" means not getting up to pee! **Okay folks...I have to admit that I have picked on older folk a lot lately, but hey--I am not longer a Spring chicken myself!  :) Thanks fo...

We've all been through it...the pain and agony of dieting or trying to, we've heard the snide remarks and avoided the scales at all cost! Forget going to the doctor's...who wants to be reminded you're heavier than you should be? Since I know many of us that are wearing a bit more padding than others, I've found that we also have one Heck of a sense of humor!   Well...here's to us!!! You Know It's Time to Diet When... * You dance and it makes the band skip. * You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live. * You put mayonnaise on an aspirin. * You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts. * Your driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side." * You ran away and they had to use all four sides of the milk carton for your picture. * You learn you were born with a silver shovel in your mouth. * You could sell shade. * Your blood type is Ragu. * You need an appointment to...

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People." 2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary. 3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. 4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone. 5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. 6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood. 7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too. 8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house. 9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can. 10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told ...