Laws of the Natural Universe

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with

grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the

least accessible corner.

Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly

proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get

a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work

because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat

tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one

you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works

every time)

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the

telephone will ring.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you

know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a

machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely

proportional to the reach.

Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest

from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,

someone will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is

cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker

room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly

sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to

the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know

what you are talking about.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like,

they will stop making it.

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[Aren't these things true though?  Have a good evening/day!  Thanks for stopping by!]