Friday, August 31, 2012

Sarcastic Remarks For Work

And your crybaby whiny opinion would be...? 

This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. 

I started out with nothing and still have most of it left. 

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. 

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 

If I throw a stick, will you leave? 

If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my 

Does your train of thought have a caboose? 

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. 

A PBS mind in an MTV world. 

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 

Suburbia: where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them. 

Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. 

See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil. 

Not all men are annoying. Some are dead. 

A woman's favorite position is CEO. 

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. 

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. 

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep 

Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1? 

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks. 

Too many freaks, not enough circuses. 

Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong. 

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? 

Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done. 

I plead contemporary insanity. 

How do I set a laser printer to stun? 

Meandering to a different drummer. 

I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?

~~Have a nice day!  D ~~