Serendipity

Personal Ads That Were Probably NEVER Answered SWM: Roommate needed for six bedroom north side condo. $800/month plus 1/2 utilities. Must enjoy garlic, taxidermy & clock repair. SWF: Seeks any M, age 16-52, for immediate marriage. Willing to beg. Call 24/hours, 7/days 1-800-I'm-4you. SWM: 39, enjoys assault rifles, heavy drinking, and testosterone. Seeks like-minded SF, W only, to listen to political conspiracy theories and help stock secluded mountain shelter.  Don't bother to write, I already know where you live. SWF: 25, enjoys poetry recitals, interpretive dance, herb tea, New Age music, Communing with Gaian nature spirits, and Jello sculpting. Seeks aloof, analytic whimp. SWM: 59, wide range of interests including: Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, Power Rangers, and Sea Quest. ISO compatible F. SM: Seeking an adventurous SF Interested in underwater bondage with or w/o scuba gear And albino livestock breeding. No weirdos please. SBM: Vegetarian Truck-driving Republ

*A few clowns short of a circus *A few fries short of a Happy Meal *An experiment in Artificial Stupidity *A few beers short of six-pack *A few peas short of a casserole *Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box *The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead *One Fruit Loop shy of full bowl *One taco short of a combination plate *A few feathers short of a whole duck *All foam, no beer *Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel *Has an I.Q. of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt *Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear *Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel *Too much yardage between the goalposts *An intellect rivalled only by garden tools *As smart as bait *Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash *Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair *Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor *Forgot to pay his brain bill *Her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels *

As I am known for inspirational quotes on my Facebook page, Serendipity ...I would like to share some here that I found on a website via Oprah .  I have a fondness for quotes like this, as they become a reminder not to belittle myself, that there really is hope out there for us, as well as helping me with my own bouts of depression.  I truly hope that of these, you will find one that will sing to your soul. And with that, I bid you all a wonderful day! Remember, "LIKE" my page on Facebook and stay updated! 

Doily clock Although I haven't been very active on here for some time, rest assured that I have been somewhat busy elsewhere! One can usually find me posting things to my Etsy site: Serendipitousmakings  where you will find the items that I will show here and so much more! I usually crochet only at night while watching TV but grab ideas and patterns from every source out there!   As you saw above, I have crocheted doily clocks...here is another design: doily clock I have created a few card designs, using my own hand drawing and adding either a crocheted dragonfly, butterfly or flowers: flower bouquet dragonfly with cattail I have also made soda or water bottle cozies: water bottle cozi  I've recently made a variety of key chains: sunbonnet tiny bag to carry change or an extra key in a miniature, functional purse to carry change in.... crocheted rings, sliver chain and silver beads adorn this keyring pretty flow

According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes," committed by young male repeat offenders who apparently don't know the first thing about their business.  This information was included in an interesting, amusing article titles "How Not to Rob a Bank," by Tim Clark, which appeared in the 1987 edition of The Old Farmers Almanac. Clark reported that in spite of the widespread use of surveillance cameras, 76 percent of bank robbers use no disguise, 86 percent never study the bank before robbing it, and 95 percent make no long-range plans for concealing the loot.  Thus, he offered this advice to would-be bank robbers, along with examples of what can happen if the rules aren't followed: 1. Pick the right bank.  Clark advises that you don't follow the lead of the fellow in Anaheim, Cal., who tried to hold up a bank that was no longer in business and had no money.  On the other hand, you don't wan

Actual Lines from Resumes: I am very detail-oreinted. My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable. Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty! Enclosed is a ruff draft of my resume. I am sicking and entry-level position. It's best for employers that I not work with people. Here are my qualifications for you to overlook. I am a quick leaner, dependable, and motivated. If this resume doesn't blow your hat off, then please return it in the enclosed envelope. My fortune cookie said, "Your next interview will result in a job." And I like your company in particular. You hold in your hands the resume of a truly outstanding candidate! I saw your ad on the information highway, and I came to a screeching halt. Insufficient writing skills, thought processes have slowed down some. If I am not one of the best, I will look for another opportunity. Please disregard the attached

I have to admit that I am truly surprised at how many people have read the "Paper Dolls"  post I did some time ago. I would have never thought there would be so many that would find them interesting! Thank you all! It is for you that I continue with this post...adding more paper dolls that may be even more familiar to most people: Barbie, Skipper and...of course...Ken. And yes, these are mostly vintage, but should still make a little girl happy! In my day, the actual Barbie and Skipper dolls were my best friends, I took them everywhere with me!  I had tons of clothes, my mom made almost all of them! She was a very skilled seamstress!  Skipper Skipper's clothing Retro Barbie Retro Barbie Retro Barbie Retro Barbie 2 Retro Barbie Retro Ken Remember, download each photo, print on card stock and cut out to enjoy! Enjoy and have a wonderful day/evening!  Thanks for stopping by!

I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out. ------------------------------ ------------------- I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now. ------------------------------ ----------------------- You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just looking at her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably angry. ------------------------------ ----------------- Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers. ------------------------------ -------------------------- You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That's common sense leaving your body. ------------------------------ ------------------------------ I don't like making plans for the day because then the word "premeditated" get's thrown around in the courtroom. ---

...your sweetie says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!" ...your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. ...a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door nearest your car. ...you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick. ...going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. ...you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. ...when it takes longer to rest than to get tired. ...when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. ..."getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today. ..."getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot. ... an "all niter" means not getting up to pee! **Okay folks...I have to admit that I have picked on older folk a lot lately, but hey--I am not longer a Spring chicken myself!  :) Thanks fo