Serendipity

Last night, I had a long talk with my youngest son, and we were discussing how dysfunctional our family has gotten, beyond my little family of my three children and I. (Referring to his step-sisters and that side of his family.) We were are amazed at how far things have progressed to the point of lies being spread, back-stabbing, threats being made, and the list goes on. Then too, he talked about how his life had gone downhill over the past two years, and I reminded him that mine hadn't been a bowl of cherries either, that I too had made some bad choices...specifically in men. (My effort to lighten his burden and point out that he's not alone in having made bad choices in women.) Then it hit me. Wham!  Like a pile of bricks fell on my chest and tears welled in my eyes.  It was the sudden realization that I am literally afraid of men, beyond those in my family. Yes-- afraid . Why? Because I no longer am able to trust men I meet because I don't know if t...

Photo of a crow landing in our yard this past Summer (2012) It's not often that I dream of creatures other than dogs and cats (that I remember). But for the first time last night I had a dream about crows. Not a lot of them...maybe a half dozen or so that I recall. Since it's been hours since I woke from the dream, much has gone from my memory except for bits and pieces. But it's enough to give me the essence of the dream. It's a funny thing that in many of my dreams, I never dream about the place I live in at that moment in time...and it was no different in this dream. I have no idea what house it was, it was unfamiliar to me, and I can't even say that the other person in the dream was a familiar person to me either. Yet--somehow--I knew that person...otherwise the dream wouldn't have flowed the way it did. We were inside the home, and I went to open the door, and there were the crows, not far from the house, some on the ground, some in the trees. S...

photo by me: Debra Myers 2012 For the last four weeks, more or less, I have been struggling mentally, because of having depression and PTSD. It happens to me every year at this time, right before the Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays roll in. I honestly can't pin-point when it started, all I know is that I can't remember ever living my life without this low point every year. I know that it is the sum total of a lot of things, both internal and external, things that are within my control to some degree, and other things that are out of my control. I am a worrier, stress over finances, especially around Christmas (I live on a fixed  income), worry about what my kids will think of me one way or another...and I know I shouldn't. I am their mom, after-all...and can only do what I can do. This time of year has a sense of loss in it for me, even after 37 years, when I suffered through the following holidays without my mom. (She was killed by a drunk driver, Feb. 8, 1975...

(**Previously published 5/9/11**) As I have mentioned in my previous post, my son, Shawn Campbell, is struggling to find  justice  in a case that some have called a 'slam dunk'.  He was railroaded into  pleading guilty  for a crime he did not commit, and has proof that the county District Attorney's office had been forewarned of a 'murder to hire plot' that was going around Wende Correctional Facility at in weeks prior to Rhonda Bilby's murder. He is back in court today, and I will have the details as they become available to me.  As well, I will post each section of the interview as they are aired.                              

Definition:  Pun: a joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words which sound alike but have different meanings. «»«» «»«» «»«» «»«» «»«» «»«» «»«» «»«» «»«» «»«» «»«» «»«» «»«» «»«» «»«» I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now. Jokes  about  German sausage are the wurst. A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. ...

© Debra Myers How do I begin to tell you how I am feeling these days...which has now turned into at least two weeks? Shall I define it in single words?   Depression. Anxiety. Love/hate. Sadness. Withdrawal. Pain. Loneliness.  This is nothing new for me. I have been dealing with seasonal depression for as along as I have been an adult, and it's always worse with the holidays coming up: Thanksgiving and Christmas. Why? I wish I could definitively tell you. For me...I think all the traumatic incidences that have happened in my life coalesce at this time of year for some unknown reason. It all comes back to me in waves...some days it's my past that plays battle in my mind, other days it's whatever has happened in the last eight years, as far as my children go.  There is moments of overwhelming sadness...of things lost...my innocence, my youth, my mom, my sense of family. And right now, I think that it's the sense of family...meaning that of my children no...

Halloween, in theory, is supposed to be 'fun' for children...and I know that as a child, it was for me. Times have changed though. Halloween is no longer the safe, carefree night of the year for children, it's now one where dangers lurk...and children can be cruel. My 12 year old niece, who loves this holiday, so looked forward to going out with friends trick or treating. Days before, she and a few friends, made plans to meet at a specific place at 6 p.m. and from there, walk through our little town. She had decided early-on in November that she wanted to be a dead bride...and so we spent the time to acquire a dress, and all the things we would need to make her look somewhat real. We 'shredded' the dress, made a veil out of an old slip, which I then hand sewed to a headband. We bought the fake makeup, complete with 'blood' (fake, of course) and proceeded to splatter it all over the items...even the little bunch of flowers she would carry. On her o...

In light of Hurricane Sandy's impending landfall...I thought I'd steal a moment and and lighten the mood with these headline gaffes! Enjoy! * Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers * British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands * Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms * Eye Drops off Shelf * Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead * Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim * Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66 * Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax * Stolen Painting Found by Tree * Checkout Counter Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years * Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One * Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 * If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While * Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures * Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge * Deer Kill 17,000 * Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead * Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge * New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Te...

Moon...10/19/12  6:05 p.m. EST I want to offer my sincere apologizes to my followers for not having wrote anything substantial in a while. My mind has been all over the place for weeks on end, and I have really had a hard time focusing on any one thing for long. And I don't know why...but I have a feeling that it is another facet of my depression.  As well, it has been a busy Summer and early Fall for me. I had all my teeth removed back in the early Spring, then had to wait for over 2 months before I could have the dentist build my dentures. One more visit...next Wednesday, and I will be the proud owner of some new teeth! (I can actually "chew" again, and even eat the foods that I have missed sooo much!!!) Of course, there was the garden that we tended to and harvested; the photography; many hours of just sitting outside watching the birds and the clouds, and feeling the breezes on my face.  Heaven. With the school year starting, came obligations for me t...

Washington hawthorn berries...10/4/12 Since I have an overabundance of photos that I have taken, I thought I would give you some other visions of Fall here in the Southern Tier of New York. Burning bush in our yard...10/4/12 The hillside across the valley from us...10/4/12 sparrow...10/4/12 Red-winged blackbird...10/4/12 neighbor's maple (in orange)...10/5/12 another neighbor's maple...10/5/12 wild berries growing off a telephone pole guidewire...10/5/12 some weeds also turn red...10/5/12 burdocks...10/5/12 leaves on a tree in front of our house...10/5/12 hillside outside of Naples, NY...10/5/12 Another hillside outside of Naples, NY. Notice the haze...it's likely from the high humidity we had during a spell of warmer weather...10/5/12 another view of the hill across the valley from us...10/6/12 (again, you can see the haze) bale of wheat straw, beginning a growing cycle, despi...