Getting to know myself

If you'd asked me a few years ago if I could stand being by myself, I probably would have replied "No". In fact, I have never in all my adult years lived by myself or at least spent most of my time alone. I've always had someone there, a husband/significant other or other family member, so I was never really  alone. Since moving here, I have learned to enjoy the alone time...even for days at a time. 

I have gone through stages though to get to this point. The first stage was a deep loneliness, and with it came a round of depression almost as deep. The next stage was one of keeping myself busy with making my crochet items for my shop on Etsy. If I kept my mind and hands busy I couldn't think. The next stage I really began to enjoy the quiet and the ease of not having anyone to be here with me. I could do what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted. Pretty sad to come to this point as a 59 year old woman! LOL

In all honesty, I am glad that I have come to this point in my life. I am learning to deal with my depression and PTSD by myself, and don't always need to have someone to talk to about it. I've also stopped crying over little things. I had gotten to the point that just trivial things sent me into tears. That's now gone. At least for now. With depression and PTSD you never know.

I don't mind being single again, less stress and aggravation in the long run. I'm not a man hater or anything like that, I just have a very bad habit of choosing the wrong kind of men for me. At this time, I am just better off alone. 

Thanks for stopping by and have a great weekend!

Deb