|A skewed reality|
On my first few trips to a therapist at mental health, I was then diagnosed as having Dysthymia...something that although true...was a foreign word to me. I seriously had to do some real digging...and realized too that I've always had a problem with anxiety. Maybe these two things go hand in hand.
I've always had a rough time being amongst a crowd of people that the noise level was extremely loud and there were multiple conversations going on around me. The best way I can describe how it feels is that it is akin to vertigo...I seem to lose my sense of balance, making me feel light-headed and confused. It's not a nice feeling at all.
After I moved into another county and had to restart my therapy with a new therapist, my new diagnosis became Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). That fit me just as well as the Dysthymia did. But despite the label, the fact is that I have always been depressed, and as near as I can tell, it started sometime around my being molested at age 9.
I'd like to say that's when my inability to adapt to changes in my life began...but I can't. I only know that since 2001 I have had an awful time with changes...some more-so than others. I can say though, that this last move that brought us back into the county that I have grown to love wasn't a difficult change for me!
So...what does that say exactly? I'm not sure...does it mean that I am slowly healing and moving on past these things...or it was just that coming "home" to this area was extremely comforting to me?