From the time I was a child, who had a younger brother and sister, and later a step-sister and four step-brothers...into adulthood, having no less than one child with me (and up to 6 children in the household--my three and 3-step-children--at one time)...then living with my daughter and her three for most of the last decade, I have not known "silence". There was always, always the sounds of children in my home where-ever I have lived.
For all those years in my adulthood, the need for silence, peace and quiet, away from the daily influx of noise, was a thing I coveted. It was my way of recouping and maintaining some degree of sanity...away from children and husbands. What little time alone that I did get, was rare...and there were times that I was lost because that silence was deafening to me. Call it a misguided sense of co-dependency.
When I moved away from my daughter's home last September, away from my grand-children and their daily noises, I was like a bird taking to wings for the first time. Silence was not only golden, but much needed and treasured. Yet...as that first month passed...I also began to miss the sounds of children-made chaos...to the point of tears.
As the months have passed, that sense of loss and temporary need for the sounds of children around me has faded and I have gotten used to the sound of silence. I love being alone...love the fact that my ears can finally rest...I can finally rest.
It may sound odd...but I have noticed that as I have aged, my tolerance for noise has decreased. As has my patience with many things. I am aware that the aging process does that to us, but sometimes I have to wonder if it's not also due to the fact that I have lived the life that I have.
I can't complain...only fully appreciate those things that are now open to me...and silence is one of the best things that has happened to me!
Thanks for reading!