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Showing posts from 2011

The darkest night

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We were in full swing of Winter 1982-83...several inches of snow blanketed the ground, bitter winds and temperatures that chilled to the bone. The house that we lived in at the time had echoes of troubled lives that had lived there before us...to which I knew a little about...and the house, after we had moved-on...would be one of death...a woman was murdered there a few years later. One night, after the wood stoves were loaded and the dampers set so that the wood would burn slowly through the night, we settled into bed...the 4 (3 of which were my step-children) oldest children upstairs and my several-months old daughter lay nestled between my husband and I in our bed. Outside the wind howled...it was going to be another cold, cold night. I know that I fell asleep for a while but something woke me and I had a deep sense of fear building inside me. There wasn't a sound...not outside--the wind was eerily non-existent...not inside--the wood stove should have been making faint

From the spirit world...my Ouija board experience

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My  introduction into the spirit world came early in my childhood...I had always been somewhat intuitive...but it was when I was 13 that it really kicked-in (another story for another time)...and from that point on, I developed an interest in the supernatural. However , it's remained an interest in learning about, but not dabbling in. Not until I was introduced to the Ouija board in the mid-80s.  I don't recall how we came to having the Ouija board other than someone had given it to one of the kids, but I had already had a vague feeling that it was not "just a game" and decided not to let the kids touch it. During a conversation with a neighbor lady, I had mentioned it and she wanted me to bring it out, she said that she had used one before and that it was fun...and harmless. I have always been a skeptic...and this time was no different . As we placed our finger-tips on the planchette, she began asking it random, generic questions...similar to 'am I ev

Ouija board..."just" a game?

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Parker Brothers Ouija Board game planchette I had an interesting conversation today with a friend on Facebook...talking about the Ouija board and why it has never been pulled from the store shelves because of public outcry over the dangers/possible mental and emotional trauma that these so-called "just games" can create...especially with children. One has to wonder what parent would be willing to buy a game with such a negative history (and stigma) for their child. (For that matter, what adult would chose to mess with something that is often-times dark?) Some form of the Ouija board (or spirit/fire key board or talking board) has been around since 1100 CE, in historical documents of the Song Dynasty in China. According to Wikipedia :  Following its commercial introduction by businessman Elijah Bond on July 1, 1890, the Ouija board was regarded as a harmless parlor game unrelated to the occult until American Spiritualist Pearl Curran popularized its use as

In the blink of an eye...

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Remainder of Christmas This time of year really seems to stress everyone out...hurrying to buy gifts, making sure that all the groceries are bought for that perfect Christmas meal; the wrapping of gifts and decorating the tree and the house...it's no wonder that people get depressed or have bouts of anxiety. I know I do. For me, the pressure builds and builds...as I have said before, I always want to do more for my kids and grandchildren, yet I also know that there is only so much that my finances allow.  I really thought this holiday season would bog me down mentally and emotionally since this is the first year that I have not celebrated Thanksgiving or Christmas with at least one of my kids and their children. However, I was surprised that I wasn't...I was sad and did miss not being with them when they got up Christmas morning to open their presents, but it wasn't as bad as I had feared it would be. It always amazes me though that we all got through this busines

Paper dolls

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one kind of paper dolls I had as a child It's sometimes very strange to me to find that I can remember stuff from when I was a little girl...some 50+ years ago, and it's even stranger still that those memories still give me a sense of fondness...and loss. What spurred this particular memory, I can't say, but I know that the other day I was thinking about how much things have changed over the years. So many of the toys that I cherished as a child have come and gone...or been revamped and modernized so that they no longer look the same or even work the same. Such is the case with paper dolls. I can remember being in love with these things...probably as much as I would eventually love my first Barbie doll!  I remember sitting and playing with my paper dolls for hours on end. They were such a curious fascination for me...heavy cardboard dolls with little stands, clothing made out of a glossy but somewhat stiff paper...and then being able to simply change the outfit

A Pre-Christmas Gift

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I had a phone call this morning, one that I didn't quite expect. My daughter called and asked if I would like to come and stay a few days...she is coming this way tomorrow to go upstate to visit family, and on her way back through would swing by and pick me up. At first I was hesitant...and it wasn't because I didn't want to go, but rather I know that I am needed here too...my brother and niece have come to depend on me. I replied that I would talk to my brother...not for permission, of course, but to see if he could do without me for most of the coming week. She said okay and we hung up. Not two minutes passed and my oldest grand-daughter (9) called me and said "Grandma...will you please come down and stay with us a few days?"  Then my youngest grand-daughter (3-1/2) got on the phone and asked me in her little voice: "Gandma...you come down and be with us?"  It broke my heart and I knew I couldn't tell them "No".  I have missed

Shawn Campbell's Journey to Justice: Hearing finished

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Today, I was at the court hearing of Shawn's that was supposed to be the process of showing that his previous lawyer Bill Kelly was not only ineffective counsel but also that he did not ever once, make Shawn aware of the two letters (from inmate incarcerated at the prison at that time) which were sent to the District Attorney's office forewarning of a "murder for hire" plot that was going around Wende Correctional Facility prior to the murder of Rhonda Bilby in September of 2004. I am sorry to say that the whole morning seemed to be a waste of time for everyone and that very little was accomplished in Shawn's favor.  I'll explain why... The first witness called by Shawn's lawyer, Mr. Baxter, was Christopher Lian, an officer with the Steuben County Jail, where Shawn was housed for some time before his case went to trial. The focus of the line of questioning was that a visitors record is kept as to who comes to see a particular inmate at the jail.

A boy named 'Jonah'

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A new YouTube video that is going viral is of a young boy, named "Jonah", who is enduring bullying in school. Soon to enter the 8th grade, he says that he has been bullied since he was in the lower elementary grades.  When I first viewed this video on Facebook last night, there had already been some 800+ views since August 10, 2011 but this morning, the view count is now at 64,610 .  I can only hope that he has stayed strong and not given-in to the pressures of being bullied. It gives us a good look at what bullying does to a child...

Unusual November weather

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November 29, 2011...taken at 8 a.m. (59°F.) November is usually a month where we, in the Northeastern part of the U.S., see a cooling down of temperatures and would have seen some snowfall by now...even if it didn't stay. However, this year, it's been a lot warmer than usual  and we haven't seen more than a dusting of snow...twice. (I will not complain!) From our 1st snow...barely more than a dusting Our first snow came down fast and hard...then tapered off, leaving a slight coating on the grass as pictured above. By dark, it had all melted. The beginning of our next snow storm 11/17 The next storm dumped a little more snow on us...probably about half an inch that lasted until the next day. Though it's not unusual for it to melt back off...we have in the past seen more than this for snow totals. A white out...you can barely see the traffic on the highway I looked like we were really going to get some snow...it came down hard, literally blow

Musical at the mall

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screen shot of unsuspecting Santa & elf Improv Everywhere has struck again...this time at a mall in New Jersey. A man walks towards Santa and his elf, and starts singing about wanting to sit on Santa's lap.  Watch the unsuspecting shoppers faces as the troop begins their show! Enjoy!

"If you were a tree, what kind would you be?"

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Elm tree I read an interesting blog today that asked the question: "If you were a tree, what kind would you be?"  Oak tree When faced with an issue that  you may not agree with, do you stand tall and proud, and not willing to give an inch, like the Oak tree...or are you willing to bend, give a little and perhaps work on a compromise, like the Elm tree?   To answer that question for me, I am both of them.  When I know that maybe I should give a little, I do or try to, without comprising myself too much...like the Elm. I believe that we can compromise on some things...it just depends on who we are and what the issue is at hand. If I know that I am right, then I am definitely like the Oak tree and won't budge because it's extremely likely that it's something that is important to me NOT to compromise on. And there are at least a hand-full of things that I will not compromise on what-so-ever. But in this world, I think we all have to b

A melancholy Thanksgiving

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Thanksgiving has always been about being together as a family and as we approach Thanksgiving day tomorrow, I can't help thinking about how things have changed over the years of my life. While memories can give us solace at times, it also gives me a sense of sadness too. As a child growing up, the holiday season...Thanksgiving and Christmas meant family get-togethers with a huge variety of foods...enough to last for days afterwards. Turkey, ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes, squash, cranberry sauce, breads of all kinds and of course the pies.  Lots of pies. Pumpkin, blueberry, mincemeat, apple, cherry, pudding pies...yummy! In those days, the house was full of laughter and good conversations between my parents, aunts and uncles, and my cousins and I. Good times. As I went into adulthood with my own children in tow, I tried to keep that family tradition alive during the holidays, with the large varieties of foods and the large selection of pies for our desert later; tried to

Moonbeamers

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When I was a child, there weren't many tales of my father's youth that were passed down to me but the single one that I do remember was about "Moonbeamers". Although the story isn't long...it is amusing...! Dad had 5 siblings. A brother and 4 sisters. They grew up on the same farm that I did and I am sure enjoyed all the normal childhood antics that any family goes through. One time while at my grandparent's, in a dusty and crowded back room, where all kinds of miscellaneous stuff was stored, I came across an old, moth eaten bear skin.  Yes--a real 'bear' skin!  Being a curious child, of course, I asked Dad about it. I never learned how the bear skin was acquired, but I did learn what it was used for...every chance Dad and his brother could catch their sisters unaware. It's funny...yet cruel... When it was dark as dark can be, either Dad or my uncle would don the bear skin and sneak up on their sisters...pretending to be some deep woods

The swing

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I had a swing like this when I was a small child Today I saw a photo of a swing on Facebook and it reminded me of the one I had when I was a little girl of about 5 or 6.  With it came a flood of timeless days swinging and swinging and swinging my days away.  And it also reminded me of a incident which would forever more change how I viewed and swung on that swing. My dad made the swing for me, from a limb of a huge old tree...the tree which was for the most part the center of a row of trees that lined a steep bank that was several feet above a ditch. I can remember swinging out over that ditch...and out over the edge of the road...just a little...feeling like I was flying. Being the only child at the time, it was up to me to amuse myself. The tree swing was my most favorite thing...I can remember getting up early in the morning, still in my pajamas and going out to swing until my mom called me back inside. From my perch there on the swing, I had a wonderful view of the f

Spare the rod, spoil the child: Case 2

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While reading a news site a few nights ago, I came across an article that falls right into line with my "Spare the rod, spoil the child" blogs (my first blog and Case 1 ) and ...and I couldn't help but to be more disturbed about what is happening: children dying from being beaten...in the name of religion. 20/20 published a report : "Child's Death Sheds Light on Biblical Disciplinary Teachings" this past week (11/8) that lightly detailed a handful of child deaths that resulted from punishment from followers of a ministry belonging to Michael Pearl: No Greater Joy (NGJ) Ministries . He preaches his believers TO not only spank the child but how to do it!  And all, of course, in the name of God. Anderson Cooper did a segment on Pearl: Because of his teaching...these children have died (recently and in the last few years) as a result: ** Hana--age 11...from the state of Washington. She and her brother were Ethiopian children adopted

Spare the rod, spoil the child: Case 1

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Wooden spoon for spanking? Last week a YouTube video went viral on the internet, showing a Texas judge using a belt on his disabled teen daughter, which then caught media attention. If you haven't seen the video, this is it:  (Warning...very disturbing footage.) When I first watched this video, I could only stomach the first 30 or 40 seconds of it and then had to stop it. This is beyond appalling, and this by a judge who decides the fate of others in his courtroom?  Unbelievable! This is a beating in its truest form...the judge didn't care where he hit his teenage daughter, man-handled her like she wasn't even his child, and wasn't satisfied with one or two or even three strikes...he just kept going on and on.  The child's mom then joins in and gets her whack in...for what purpose, it's unclear, but you can hear the mother say to the teen something to the effect of 'turn over and take it like a woman'!  (I wonder if mom could have t

Broken...Been away too long...

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Sunrise, Nov. 3, 2011 Over the years, I have been aware that as time went on, I was loosing more and more of my 'self'...and for a long time I really thought it had everything to do with my depression (PTSD) and breakdown (in 2001). But then again...although they were a part of it, there were also other factors that had a direct bearing on what was happening to my loss of self.  I have been spent most of my life caring for others, beyond the capacity of just being a mother and wife. For a couple of years, after the death of my mom when I was 16, I became responsible for running our household, doing all the things my mom did, which included taking care of my brother and sister, and being a student myself.  Into adulthood, I became a mom at the age of 18, and a wife just before my 19th birthday. When I had my second and third child, I was in my second marriage...and was a full time step-mom to three children as well.  Marriage three...wasn't so draining, as there