Serendipity

Do they? Really? Over the years, it has become a pet peeve of mine as well as a great concern over how a child should be disciplined. Maybe it's something that comes with age...but maybe it's something that no longer seems right...because doesn't violence breed violence?  I'm not talking about spanking a child with your hand on their butt...I'm talking about hitting them with a belt or paddle. What the law now refers as corporal punishment.  Where did we humans get the notion that hitting a child with something hard was discipline? "Spare the rod, spoil the child".  Biblical reference?  Not at all.  In fact, it came from a 17th century poem titled “Hudibras” by Samuel Butler. The actual verse reads:  “What medicine else can cure the fits Of lovers when they lose their wits? Love is a boy by poets styled Then spare the rod and spoil the child.” At the time that this was written, it referred to the spanking of a woman,...

When I was growing up, I can remember that Sundays were the day when our extended family would all come together at either our house or that of one of my aunts and uncles. Big meals were made, and there were so many fun times...indoors or out...depending on the weather and the season at the time. After my mother died when I was 16, things changed... Sundays changed. Gone were the family get-togethers...the closeness...the essence of family I had grown up with. As I grew into motherhood and watched my children grow into adulthood, my hopes were that maybe we could restart that Sunday tradition of getting together for a good home-made meal, and sharing our lives, laughter and keeping the essence of family intact. For the first few years that my oldest two were on their own, we did get together at my oldest son's for one of his wonderful home-made meals, usually on a Sunday but even that ended with his arrest and eventual prison sentence.  Since then...our family ...

Almost white out as the storm started--10/27 Yesterday was my birthday and what a better surprise (shock!) than to see a snow storm blow in!  And blow in it did!  As it began...all visibility diminished for a while. It didn't take long for it to start building up... snow begins to accumulate on the porch...10/27 It was pretty as it came down... After a couple of hours, I went out and shot these photos... We really didn't get too much more than a dusting, as these next photos show... It stopped snowing around 9 p.m. last night, and got extremely cold. When I got up this morning, it was a very frosty 27 ° F.  Whatever was wet, froze...and what snow there was remained until late this morning. I did get a few shots this morning...showing the frost and snow... Winter is eager to get here, I think...and I for one, though I enjoy the looks of it, dread the cold! A picture perfect shot! Thanks for stopping by!

Tomorrow is my 53rd birthday. It's supposed to be a festive time...yet I am not feeling very festive at all. For the first time in the last 34 years, my family...meaning my 3 children...are farther apart mentally and emotionally than I ever thought I'd see. I never thought I'd see a day when one of my children would harbor such distrust and anger toward me...yet here it is, literally slapping me across my face. I admit that I wasn't the greatest mom on earth...not even close. I made mistakes...which I have asked forgiveness for and was forgiven...yet I am finding out now that I wasn't. Not even close. Suddenly, I've found myself looking at not one, but two letters nearly dripping with venom...getting blamed for things that I had no control over, for things that I did or did not do...and they both seemed to scream at me that I am a failure as a mother to him.  I have wrote letters attempting to defend myself...but I already know that he has the mind...

Nothing more can be said... The very word gets my blood boiling...and with good reason: I was raped when I was 18 and 7 months pregnant for my first child. The offender: a guy I knew from school and from my first husband. I did not report it. When you tell the man that is supposed to love and protect you that another man has raped you, and he laughs and replies: "Friends share with friends," how do you tell anyone else? Would THEY believe you? Here are some interesting and frightening statistics from RTS--rape trauma services : Only 16% of rapes are ever reported to the police. In a survey of victims who did not report rape or attempted rape to the police, the following was found as to why no report was made: 43% thought nothing could be done, 27% felt it was a private matter, 12% were afraid of police response, and 12% felt it was not important enough. Rape is the most underreported violent crime in the United States. I am one of the 43%. How ma...

My brother brought up an interesting point tonight, that when it comes to women evading child support payments, the law here in New York isn't too concerned. Or so it seems here in the county where we live. The story is a common one, a woman walks away from her marriage and her baby...and when the father goes to collect child support from her...she does everything to dodge paying it: from quitting her job, moving state-to-state, and even essentially going underground with no contact with her own family what-so-ever. This is what my brother has been dealing with for the last 9 years (give or take), and as it stands right now, his ex-wife now owes something in the tune of $20,000 in back child support. At the moment...she's disappeared again. My brother emailed the child support office here in our county, citing gender bias: if it were him that was pulling this crap, he'd been locked up a long time ago. He's right. Why is it that even in this day and age...

My home...ever so briefly As I sit here, picking up the pieces of my life and moving forward...the man that still holds onto a piece of my heart passed away this morning at 5:15 CST.  It's been a struggle, not so much for me, but for his devoted family to be there by his side watching him fade from his life...and it is for them that my heart aches. They are all good people, people who have touched my life and have helped me get through the past several weeks. Whatever he became through his life, whomever he was...there was a part of him that was good...loving...sensitive...and kind. These are what I will focus on in my memories of him...forgiving him for what he did to me, because it's something I need to do. Today, as you go about your own lives, think about those in it that perhaps can use a little forgiveness. It doesn't mean you will forget what's been done to you...only that in order to find peace in your own lives, it may be something you need to do ...

Yesterday, I introduced a recently-found German artist, Christina Stürmer and her song " Engel fliegen Einsam" which translates to "Angels fly lonesome".  Here are the lyrics: Angels fly lonesome Do you know how the poets write Have you ever seen one Poets write lonesome Do you know how painters paint Have you ever seen one Painters paint lonesome Do you know how angels fly Have you ever seen one Angels fly lonesome Do you know how I feel now Have you ever thought of it You and me together Angels fly lonesome You and me together Angels fly lonesome Never be alone agan Do you know how dreams sleep Have you ever seen one Dreams sleep lonesome Do you know how fairies perform magic Have you ever seen one Fairies perform magic lonesome Do you know how angels fly Have you ever seen one Angels fly lonesome I know you feel the same way What did you do to me You and me together Ang...

I was reading something earlier today that prompted me to write this little piece...the questioned posed was: What do you want to be remembered for?   I had never thought about that before...have you? After spending a fair share of the day pondering that question, here is my answer:  I would want to be remembered for: <> Being a good mom, despite my failings. I am not perfect, but I know that I did the best I could. <> Being the best friend that I could be.. . always being there when my friends need me, mentally and emotionally.     <> Being compassionate, understanding, forgiving, and gentle spirited.   <> Having touched peoples lives in a positive way...leaving with them a part of me that somehow made their lives different....bearable.   <> Being a good writer, someone who expressed their thoughts, feelings and beliefs in a way that others could understand and perhaps agree with.   <> Alwa...

Sadness often overwhelms me When I had my three kids, one of the things that I always hoped for was that we would be a very close family. And we were for the most part, even as my kids grew up and got out on their own. Between them, the kids weren't as close as I wished...but I was content with the way things were overall. But as things do, that changed...with the biggest change coming just recently...on my return from Wisconsin.   The biggest blow to our family unit was the arrest of my oldest son for murder. That was the crack that set the foundation of our family crumbling. The next rift was that of religion...my oldest two had turned to Christ in the last couple of years and began the push to covert my youngest and I. But we would not budge in our own beliefs.  When I returned from Wisconsin, the final nudge that has made this family fall even further--and maybe even irreparably--apart...is me. Not because I won't give in and become reborn again as a Christian, but...

Ever restless sky For the past handful of nights, I have not been sleeping well, and definitely have not been sleeping restful or through the night. My mind refuses to shut down, I toss and turn...with many things running through my mind.  This is something that's not new, but comes and goes according to what may be bothering me in my awake hours. Even then, not everything that is bothering me keeps me awake....I guess it depends on "how much" I am troubled by whatever.  Last night, my mind kept playing over and over my time spent in Wisconsin. I am still at a loss to explain how something that had started-out so well, took a turn for the worse in such a short time. Yes--I know a lot of it had to do with untruths that he told me, and also that his personality was too often very grating, demanding and selfish.  But I couldn't help but think of the good times we did have. He made me laugh...laugh harder than I've laughed in a very long time. He taught me ...

I received an email this morning, that I almost deleted without reading, but something told me to open it up...and I did. This is what it said: Dear Debra, Your life is what you make it. Your happiness depends primarily on your attitude in life, and especially on the nature and quality of your thoughts and ideas, which are more powerful than you may imagine. They’re your main weapon in your fight to lead the life you want. You don’t see the world as it is, but as your mind sees it. In other words, all your perceptions and thoughts act as a filter between reality and you. The world is what you think it is. If you think it’s bad, you won’t be able to make progress. Your thoughts influence your existence, as well as your environment. You’ll be happy or unhappy depending on whether your thoughts are positive or negative. To make your ideas as powerful as possible, they have to be positive. When a negative idea enters your mind, let it come. When it goes, let it leave. ...

A beginning...or...an end? As I sit here tonight, there is a lot going through my head. Last night, I received some news that although wasn't surprising, has effected me to some degree. I may be a lot of things, but cold-hearted isn't one of them. I have talked a lot about a man, who I spent 3-1/2 weeks with, got to know, and learned that he wasn't the kind, sweet man he pretended to be. And regardless of what I feel, it is unfair to continue speaking about that brief time ... now when he lies on his death bed in a hospital. He had another stroke two days ago, and this time, things are far worse.  He was completely paralyzed from what I understand, he could not talk and could only blink his eyes. His prognosis for recovery wasn't good.   Tonight though, the information came that said he now can't swallow, and they are forcing fluids into him, trying to make him comfortable...he doesn't have long to live. I find it very sad to know that his life is ...

The words in this image say it all.  The very words, "You've changed" is something that two of my kids have told me time and time again...to the point that I am wondering what exactly their expectations of me are. I am the mother of three adult children, who are and have been out on their own for years. But when I had my breakdown, I moved in with my daughter and there I lived until the beginning of September.  She often would look at me and tell me that she missed the mom that she had when she was a teenager...and my response would be that I am not the same person that I was then. Too much life has been lived and too many changes have taken place. I have evolved, trying to find out who I am, apart from being a daughter, sister, mother and having been a wife three times. My oldest son, recently sent me a letter too, saying that I have changed...I am not the mom that he remembers. It wasn't a pleasant letter, and has caused me some anger, frustration and has m...

For all the years that I have been on the net, I always believed that dating via the internet was a bad idea. It's too easy to hide the truth of who you are, your intentions, even what you really look like. I still hold to that belief...but it's because I have lived the lie.  He and I met via Facebook, a friend of a friend of a friend and he approached me first. I was very reluctant to accept the friend request, but looking at his profile, he was disabled and looked honest enough...he had farmer's blood in him, like I do. I honestly thought that being that we shared the same basic traits...he'd be someone I'd like to know.  He wasn't handsome per se, but nor do I feel that I am all that great looking. We both are in our fifties, and we look our ages...weight has settled in as has the graying of our hair and even the wrinkles on our faces.   We began chatting via Yahoo messenger, first only for maybe 15 to 30 minutes a day...breaking the ice and starting to...

Shades of orange blaze on this tree in a neighbor's yard. New York State is one of the many that has the luxury of having beautiful and colorful changes in the Fall.  I'd like to share with you, some of the beauty. It's not uncommon for the smaller trees and plants to begin changing colors before the surrounding, taller trees... Greens make way for shades of pink Even weeds get into the swing of things, changing their green for colors of purple, reds and yellows... Even weeds are alight with color These shrubs begin with a gorgeous shade of pink...   Pretty in pink The hillsides are a little longer in changing colors... a farm framed by a changing landscape Berries are especially pretty to photograph... ripened berries that the birds will enjoy The hillside is beginning to show its Fall splendor... It's begun... Leaves close-up are a special sight... Some leaves have turned... Even if they have not begun to lose their green ...