Thursday, October 20, 2011

Gender bias...women dodging child support

My brother brought up an interesting point tonight, that when it comes to women evading child support payments, the law here in New York isn't too concerned. Or so it seems here in the county where we live.

The story is a common one, a woman walks away from her marriage and her baby...and when the father goes to collect child support from her...she does everything to dodge paying it: from quitting her job, moving state-to-state, and even essentially going underground with no contact with her own family what-so-ever.

This is what my brother has been dealing with for the last 9 years (give or take), and as it stands right now, his ex-wife now owes something in the tune of $20,000 in back child support. At the moment...she's disappeared again.

My brother emailed the child support office here in our county, citing gender bias: if it were him that was pulling this crap, he'd been locked up a long time ago. He's right.

Why is it that even in this day and age, a woman is more likely to skid out of paying child support or not be arrested for non-payment. However, if she were a man...well you know the answer to that.

So why is there gender bias? Here we are in a time where women want equality and more judges are awarding custody of children to fathers rather than the mothers...why aren't mothers being being pursued and made to pay?

Is it me or is there something very wrong with this picture?

I guess part of the problem that I have with women not paying child support is that I first and foremost never abandoned my children. Secondly, even if mom didn't abandon her child(ren)...and who might still have visitation with her child(ren)...who says that she is any better than a man in helping to care for her children financially? 

I realize that this is an exception and not the norm where my brother is concerned, but I have read stories that are practically mirrors of his situation. So it goes to say that there are women out there that need to step up to the plate and do what's right...quit avoiding their obligations. 

By the same token, the county child enforcement agencies need to step up to the plate and do their job: make these women either pay up and/or face the consequences, whether it's a loss of their driver's licenses or jail time. 

If it were a man......


  1. You are so right about this! It's terrible about your brother's bum of an ex-wife!

  2. She's everything a mother should NOT be!

  3. It is hard for me to understand how a parent and especially a mother can just walk away from her children.
    My dad walked away from my three youngest siblings and was never heard from again. His sister did call my mother after he had died though.

  4. I don't understand how parents...a father or mother can do that either...I wish I could understand...but we never will.

  5. for 20k, just move ahead with your life and just focus on the best quality of life for the child.

  6. "for 20k, just move ahead with your life and just focus on the best quality of life for the child."

    Already done...simply because this child need not suffer the for the sins of her mother.